he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
