Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
