just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
