Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
