the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
