Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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