I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
