careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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