member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
