walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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