Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
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