her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Are we still banned from the library?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
