3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
