were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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