That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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