when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
