I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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