Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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