My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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