Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We're facebook friends in real life
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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