I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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