What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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