i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
