next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
