arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
