thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
