Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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