FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
