Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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