I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
