I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
