Im at strip club and am horny
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
