So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
