It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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