found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
