Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
