And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ttyl tear gas
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
