I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
