hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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