Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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