I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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