I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
