Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
