this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
