Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
