Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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