They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
