Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
