Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
