what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
