Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
