I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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