I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
