If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
