it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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