I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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