Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
